Vino or Him?

Estimated read time: < 3 minutes

Unlike men, wine will never disappoint you.

As Edmondo De Amicas said “wine adds a smile to friendship and a spark to love”. Before I further write this article, I have a confession to make — I suffer from novinophobhia: the fear of running out of wine.

Recently, I went through a breakup. Don’t worry, I’m not eating a tub of ice-cream while watching sappy romantic movies. Having my ex out of my life is what I call good riddance. My best friend went on a crazy mission to fix me up with a guy. Even though I resisted at first, after a lot of eye rolling from her end, I caved in.

I was on a date with the second or third, or wait, was it the fifth guy she’d tried to set me up with?

Who cares? While this guy kept blabbering about how he was a total gym freak and how I should avoid eating carbs, (ummm, as if!) I had an epiphany. I realised that one thing that’s been constant throughout all my relationships, horrible or fantastic dates and breakups, is WINE.

Be it a fruity Gewürztraminer, my favourite Chardonnay, a bubbly Prosecco, or a deep Shiraz — they’re all  amazing in their own way, and will make you happier than any man ever can.

Here are 10 reasons why you should be in a relationship with a glass of wine (or a bottle — I’d go for the bottle) rather than with a man.

 

  1. It will never ever cancel on you or worse, stand you up.

 

  1. It helps you release some pent-up emotions.

 

  1. Your parents won’t mind if you bring home international varieties. In fact, they’ll love it.

 

  1. You’ll never have to wonder where wine is, or who wine is talking to/texting.

 

  1. It makes you feel sophisticated even without trying.

 

  1. Wine never comes between you and your friends.

 

  1. You can never get sick of wine. Can you say the same about your bae? Didn’t think so!

 

  1. Wine gives you an excuse to eat copious amounts of cheese.

 

  1. Getting wine to open up requires a corkscrew, rather than six months of prodding, nagging, obsessing, and feeling like a psycho.

 

  1. And finally, wine accepts you just as you are.


Image Credits: Shutterstock |

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